thehometree | Amber

HARK, fellow denizens of the tree!

[The amber shows a quick view of the quest mirror; it's not close enough to make out the words on it, but there are definitely words there. The image then whips around to Owain's grinning face.]

Behold, the Mirror Shard of Secret Mystery awakens! The hour of our redemption is at hand, and upon my mighty blade, I swear we shall not be thwarted a second time! See, luckily for everyone, I've totally got that last line covered.

[He holds up a rough piece of tree-made paper. The words WEAPON NAMES adorn the top, and scrawled below them, taking up every available bit of space, is a barely-legible list of names. Some have exclamation points. Some have several exclamation points. One has crude flames drawn around it, and another appears to have lightning bolts shooting out of it.]

"Those that serve have earned the right of a name." So sayeth the Mirror! ...Okay, so I dunno who "those that serve" are, but if we just name everything we're bound to get them named too, right? [He pulls his list back and looks it over.] Now, most of these names are for weapons, true, but a lot of them'll work for other things. Flamenugget would be good for a firefly... ooh, and Storm Tempest would be great for one of the baby birds. And there are plenty more where these came from! [He taps his head.]

So GO FORTH, heroes of fairy-dom, and name all you lay eyes upon! And if you need ideas, I'm your man! [With that, he looks as though he's going to set the amber down... then abruptly catches himself as he remembers something else.] --Oh, and if anyone wants to contribute to the Master List of Epic Names... [He flips his list around. The other side is also full, except for a bit of space along one edge.] ...I could probably fit two or three more on here.

[He salutes with the hand that is still holding the paper.] Owain, AWAY!

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I've got a name! But I don't know if you're ready for it just yet.

[... This is all so amazingly normal she doesn't even respond to it.]

Owain, about that... Didn't it also say "A treat will be given for each secret shared."

Doesn't that mean... we also have to share secrets?

Do you really think that they would actually like those names..?

[ For a long moment, there's just this face staring at Owain judgmentally through the amber.

When Archer finally speaks, his voice is filled with about as much disgust as you'd expect. ]

You don't, in fact, appear to be "away."

[Oh goodness, Owain. She really can't help but grin.]

I suppose there is something in that logic. I think the fireflies and glowworms would be the most likely candidates. They're so helpful, lighting things up for us and allowing us to use them as stoves.

[She is. Going to try and get to the firefly in their house before it ends up being called Flamenugget, though.]

Windbag.

[Wait. No. Not wind. This guy isn't worthy of that element at all.]

Actually, I think even that might be too good of a name for you.

[… This is what Owain has been using his paper for?

THIS?!

Deep breath, Orcelito. He calms himself before he picks up the amber.]

Owain. [No ‘sir’ today.] I don’t think those names are appropriate. [What would the mother bird think, after all?] We should find more suitable names for the animals and insects. [What is a suitable name for an insect? Who even names insects?]

HA! You realize you're talking to the reigning Master of Monickers here, right? I was born ready! C'mon, let's hear it!

Did it? [He looks at the mirror again.] ...Oh yeah, I didn't notice that one. [The 'name' line commanded his full attention, obviously.] I dunno, I wonder if the treats are anything good... ooh, do you think they have any legendary regalia to give away?

I guess we can't say either way.

But since I haven't done much here... I'm going to tell you a secret, and see if anything happens. All right?

Well yeah, why not? Granting them heroic names elevates them to the status of trusted comrades! That's way better than just "those that serve", right?

[He waves a hand dismissively.] Details. It's just a thing heroes say when they're embarking on a great quest for justice, but I can understand how the complex nuances could be lost on the uninitiated. Don't let it get you down.

I've gotta somehow prove you're worthy.

Already, if you're the Master of Monickers, give me 7 synonyms for the word "energetic". GO!

[ The disdain in Archer's stare continues to build. ]

I'm afraid you're mistaken about something.

[He knew he could count on you, Fuu.]

Right! Good thing I've got a lot of fire-related names here. [He skims over his list.] Flamestorm, Flamewave, Exploding Fiery Inferno Killer, Holy Lance of Sacred Flaming Stabbing... okay, we might have to replace 'Lance' with 'Worm' or something on that one...

[But c'mon Flamenugget is the best one.]

Windbag? [He totally thinks you're offering it up as a bug name suggestion.] ...I dunno, it really doesn't seem all that heroic, you know? Unless it means something different in your realm.

[Hey, these are very important hero notes.]

You... don't think my names are suitable? [He looks a little hurt by that, and scrutinizes his list.] ...Okay, maybe they're not all my best work, but I thought there was some top-tier stuff in here. Do they lack the spark of passion? Are they not epic enough? What if I changed it to Tornado Storm Tempest?

[Oh, that's not what he meant at all....]

I think simpler names would be best. [He needs to give a reason...] Because there are many animals and insects to name! They need to be easy for everyone to remember.

Piece of cake! Okay, let's see... there's "lively", "spirited", "fired up", "tireless"... um, "active"... oh! "Dynamic"!

...Is that seven yet? I wasn't counting.

O-okay... I mean, you bet! Your deepest secrets are safe with me! ...Oh, but if you want it to stay a secret, you probably shouldn't say it to the amber.

Huh? Do you think the riddle means something else? I suppose "those that serve" could be a metaphor for something... or maybe "a name" is a metaphor...

It's not that.

No, it's much more simple.

You think you're a hero, but you're actually merely an idiot.

Hmm... [He cups his chin in his hand.] Okay, I guess I can see where you're coming from. Not everyone is as good with names as I am. So something simple and epic... I thought Flamenugget was pretty simple, but let's see what else I've got here.

[He looks over his list. And frowns. Then flips it over to the other side, looks it over, and flips back, frowning even more.]

...All right, so "simple" isn't really my aesthetic. Think you could give me an example of what you're going for?

O-oh yeah?! Shows what you know! How many realms have you saved from evil soul-devouring dragon gods, huh?! I bet it's NONE!

Seventeen.

[ He's making shit up. ]

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